Shake the Glitter Off Your Clothes Now
by BetweenLines55
Summary: When the ladies are away, the boys will play, and by play, they mean drive 250 miles to Las Vegas for some bro time. Of course, Heroes of Olympus can't hold their alcohol and Jason will probably need a lawyer by the end of it.


If it wasn't for me, Jason would be a total homebody, and no dude could ever let his bro sink that low. Seriously, he was totally lame sometimes, like an extra dad that I had never asked for instead of my bro. I really didn't know how Piper puts up with him, maybe he had a big dick. I never really asked, but that would make sense.

Of course, I'd never tell him, but it was good we hung out when the girls were off traveling, getting their nails done and dismantling the patriarchy. Ya know, lady stuff. The last time I'd been left to my own devices while Annabeth was out of town, I'd cut off the sleeves of all of my long sleeve shirts. And hey, I didn't have anything against showing off my guns whenever I could, but apparently other people did.

Not my fault Wise Girl was like, 85% of my impulse control. Maybe 87% on a bad day. Occasionally 90, but that was like, only occasionally.

Anyways.

Piper had taken Annabeth (well, more like dragged her away from her coursework she'd brought along even though we were technically on vacation) to a spa retreat for a week that they could both spare somewhere outside of LA, during one of those rare times that Piper's dad was actually home and not off jetting around the world to shoot a movie. As happy as I was to let Piper go off and try to get my girlfriend to relax for more than ten seconds, that left me and Jason lounging around Piper's apartment her dad had bought her, and she didn't even own an Xbox.

I was kind of bored out of my mind. And when I'm bored, I make bad decisions, or, you know, worse than usual.

Sitting on the couch in Piper's living room, I watched Jason out of the corner of my eye. He seemed relaxed enough, lounging on the couch, glasses slipping down his nose. I frowned, bro time was totally not sleeping time. So I did the obvious thing and tackled him.

"Holy Hera, Percy, what the—!"

I grinned up at him from my spot half on top him, "C'mon man, we have to do something while the ladies are out."

His raised his eyebrows, the corner of his mouth where his scar was quirking up a little, "Oh yeah, like what?"

I thought a moment, still sprawled on top of Jason. Damn, he really was comfortable, but I still couldn't tell how big his dick was. I'd have to continue my investigation when he wasn't wearing pants as durable as jeans.

"Vegas!" I decided in an instant. I sat up in his lap, sort of straddling him, but Jay didn't seem to mind. He grabbed my waist so I wouldn't topple backwards onto the floor and gave me an incredulous look.

"Vegas? You do know that it's like over 250 miles from here?"

"Miles, schmiles," I told him, "It's only like a four hour drive and then we could spend the night at a hotel and casino thing. C'mon, it'll be fun. Live a little!"

I shook him by the shoulders and didn't stop until he started tickling me into submission, and then I shrieked and really did fall off of him. From my newly claimed position on the floor he stood up and gave me a look. "Fine. We'll go. But I'm going to shower first."

"Yeah, and pack an overnight bag!"

Almost five hours later, Jason was checking us into a hotel and casino (I had checked it out to make sure it wasn't some magical casino that would keep us trapped inside for seventy years, so no worries there) as I stood around to take the scenery in. It was a pretty classy place, it seemed, or as classy as we could afford on a grad school budget. There were plenty of tourists milling about and I heard at least three separate angry conversations in a language other than English.

Jason found his way back to me, carrying his duffle bag and two room keys. "Room 714, one for you, one for me," he handed me the room key, "Also I'm pretty sure the lady behind the desk thinks we're dating."

"Why," I laughed, "Did you book a single?"

"It was cheaper!" He grumbled at me, taking a whack at me with his duffle. I laughed harder and jumped back from his second swing.

"Sure, Mr. Economize. If we're dating does this mean I can touch your butt now and you can't get mad at me?"

"We're not dating!" Jay shouted loudly enough to cause some stares our way, which made him blush.

"Dude, we're dating a little." I said, starting to lead him over to the elevator so we could drop our stuff off in our room.

After a long suffering sigh, in the safety of the elevator Jason said, "I know, I love it." I grinned up at him, he'd grown another inch and anyone being six-two was really not fair, and squeezed his butt for good measure. He squeaked and jumped a good six inches. For the sake of his pride, I tried my best to keep myself from busting out laughing.

Obviously my best was not good enough.

In the safety of our room at last, Jason collapsed face first into the queen bed and groaned. "A whole weekend with you? I'm never going to survive."

I smacked him on the ass once for good measure before reclining on the bed next to him. "I dunno. I think I could give Piper a run for her money. You obviously have a thing for brunets."

He growled and launched himself at me, causing us to tumble off the bed and land on the floor with a thump. "I don't have a thing for brunets!"

"Reyna. Piper. Me. Who're you're currently on top of on the floor. I think you definitely have a type. Also, we can all kick your ass."

That surprised him. I brought one of my feet up to my chest to kick him off me, scrambling to the safety of the bed while he tried to catch his breath. As he tackled me, the bedsprings squeaked. From there, our fight turned into wrestling around on the bed and trying not to fall off. I'd finally gotten Jason pinned when a loud knock came on the wall behind our bed from the room next to us.

"Would you two shut the fuck up, over there? Some of us are trying to get some fucking sleep!"

Jason and I shared a look before breaking out into frantic giggles. I rolled off of Jason to bounce on the bed once more for good measure before shouting back, "You're welcome to join in, maybe it'll help you get that stick out of your ass!"

There was muffled grumbling and then a sharp bang like someone had thrown something heavy at the wall.

"Did he really think we were having sex?"

"I mean we were pretty loud, and don't get so red in the face, Jay-Jay, we're dating now, remember?" He threw a pillow at me, which I deflected.

"I'm going to change my shirt, and then we're going to go down to the casino." I announced.

"We are?"

"Yup. You don't get a say this time."

"I'm filing for abuse."

I threw his pillow back at him and I didn't miss.

Ok, so I was totally awesome at blackjack. I was sure I'd be even better if Jason wasn't in my line of sight, sitting at the bar, looking distractingly attractive in a gray button down. I shook the thoughts from my head and blamed it on the beers I'd had.

When the round had ended, I gave up my spot and wandered over to the bar. Around the corner, the bass shaking the walls as people danced to the DJ's music playing in another corner of the ground floor.

"Hey, bro," I said, taking a seat next to Jason.

"You win anything?"

"Enough to buy us some drinks," I said, proudly, "Ok, a lot of drinks."

After some tequila and gods know what else, things got a little hazy from there on out. I remembered a lot of dancing and possibly grinding on Jason (from what I remember, he seemed to enjoy it) and finding out through that method that Jason was definitely more well-endowed than I had originally expected. Somewhere in there was me taking my shirt off and people starting to drink alcohol off of my abs. Someone had gotten a little too handsy with me I thought, and Jason had ended up punching the dude in the face like a good bro. We'd gotten evicted from the club.

I didn't remember a lot from there on out. Like, at all. The next thing I was completely sure of was waking up, half naked and smelling like alcohol and sex, on top of Jason in our room. He didn't look much better than I feel, hair mused, blond stubble on his face, shirt half unbuttoned. Personally, I felt like something crawled into my skull and died. I barely made it off of Jason and into the en suite bathroom before I was puking my guts up into the toilet, which mostly consisted of alcohol and pretzels.

"Percy?" Jason. I must've woken him up when I scrambled off him. I groaned vaguely from beside the toilet.

"Oh god, my head," Jason groaned. I squinted up at him in the mercifully dark bathroom.

"Your head? My stomach, guh."

"You went a little overboard with the shots."

"No kidding. Why didn't you stop me?"

"I wasn't exactly the most sober either. Um, Perce?"

"Yeah?"

"Why are you wearing my class ring? And what's the piece of paper in your back pocket."

I made a noise of discontent, because that was not at all what I cared to think about right now, but I fished the piece of paper out of my pocket and handed it to Jason, who definitely was the more alert one right now. He squinted at the paper for a second (I hoped he remembered to take his contacts out) before his eyes widened in horror.

"Oh gods, we're married," He sounded like he was about to faint.

"What, bro, I know you love me, but we're not—oh no."

He handed me the marriage certificate and let me look at it in the dark. It looked official, and if I remembered correctly, the name of the chapel on the certificate was one that isn't that far down the road from our hotel. The lyrics of that one Katy Perry song I never really liked come back to me.

I managed to hand him the certificate back before I puked again.

"Gee," he said after I stopped, "I never knew the idea of being married to me was so awful."

I glared at him halfheartedly and hoped he realized that even I thought it wasn't the time for jokes.

"Turn on the shower, would you?" He gave me a questioning look but after he put the certificate on the counter, he turned the spray of water on. Unceremoniously, I shucked my pants off and sat under the spray in just my boxers, the water making me feel almost immediately better.

"You're going to have to call our girlfriends and tell them we're married. They're gonna hate us when we tell them they didn't even get an invite. Oh my gods, my mother is going to kill me. Actually, she's going to kill you for not even asking for my hand like a gentleman."

He rolled his eyes, but that scared corner of his lips twitched again in obvious amusement. "Glad to see you're feeling better."

"Loads. And now that we're officially married, don't we have to consummate the wedding or something? Maybe give that guy next door a run for his money?'

Jason turned red almost immediately. He said stiffly, "I'm going to look up divorce lawyers now."

He slammed the door, which didn't do much for my head. "So a maybe then?" I call.

"I liked you better when you were hung over!"

"That's no way to talk to your husband!" And I would laugh, but I was still hung over and married in Vegas. If Annabeth didn't kill me, my mother would.


End file.
